Are You Undermining Your Goals?

When we worry that people might not support how we plan to achieve our goals, we sometimes keep our plans or the reasons behind them private. When we do this, we undermine our chances of success by creating risks we’re not aware of.

Here’s a story to illustrate how being transparent about our plans can lead to better results:

My 17 year-old daughter Hannah planned to meet with her high school guidance counselor to discuss her class schedule for next year. Hannah wanted her counselor to support her plans to take an anatomy/physiology course as an addition to her already full schedule.

At breakfast that morning, I asked Hannah, “What will you tell your counselor about why you want to take the class?” Hannah said, “Well, I think it will be a good complement to the AP [Advanced Placement] bio class that I’m going to take.” She paused, then continued “If I’m being honest, I would tell her that the main reason is that I want to raise my weighted GPA. But that doesn’t feel like a good reason. It feels like I’m only doing this to raise my GPA, instead of being interested in learning.”

I said, “If raising your GPA is your honest reason, it’s important to share it because then your counselor can help you make more informed decisions.” Hannah replied, “Yeah, I guess so.”

That day after school I asked Hannah, “How did the meeting go with your counselor?” Hannah said, “I decided not to take the course. When I told Ms. Sholomon my goal was to raise my weighted GPA, she told me that even if I got an A in the course it would lower my weighted GPA because I am already taking so many AP courses.” I said, “That’s the value of being transparent about your reasoning.” She smiled and said, “Yeah, I didn’t even think about that.”

Hannah took a risk. Instead of keeping the reason behind her plans private, she made herself vulnerable. She took a leap of faith that if she was transparent, it might mean she wouldn’t get her way, but she’d be more likely to make the best decisions and get support for her goal.

How about your goals? Are you withholding your reasoning from those who might be able to help you make the best decisions to achieve them? If so, how might that put your success at risk?

Originally published June 2011